i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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