I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize