So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
that may or may not have been my penis.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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