Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
wow bdsm is so cute
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
