Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
