I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize