There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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