Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
