We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
