we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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