I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
