I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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