So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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