yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
