Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What a dumb baby whore.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.