Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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