If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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