no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
