Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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