Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
