I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
