Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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