Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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