why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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