OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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