"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize