scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
