ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
