i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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