Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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