She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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