seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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