sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
