I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My ass is underappreciated
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
