did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
