I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize