He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
