lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
