It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
