She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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