new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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