He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
