dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
50% drunk capacity currently
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
