I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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