Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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