I can't breathe out the right side of my face
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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