my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've blown a few things in my day
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
