I feel like I'm in dance class right now
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The power of my boobs compel you
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
