How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
