It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize