She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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