i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
