we're blogging at a bar
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
