Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
