Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
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when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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