We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Congratulations! We have a period
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