It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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