Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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