Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
