literally had 100 drinks last night.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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