This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize