There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
two words...techno handjob
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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